Wedding Day

This was the day that I was suppose to be getting married.....

I have had mixed emotions today. In the morning, I did not want to get out of bed. I was feeling really sad and just depressed over everything. The break up was one of the hardest things of my life and in a way it still haunts me. I still have dreams and there are certain things that remind me of him. I think that there will always be some pain associated with his memory.

I might not want to speak to him every again in my life, but I am not angry anymore. That took sometime. I also do not want other people to bad mouth him. Because, I loved him more than I have ever loved anyone in all my life. It was real, deep, and completely consuming for me. I thought my search for "Mr. Right" was over. I was in love and therefore, blind. I will never say that he is a bad person. He just changed from the person I knew and I think that was because he met another girl. He started thinking about how easy it would be with her, in France. Life is America was scary and he was not a strong man. But, I do think he was a good person. He just chose for us not to be together, which is the painful part for me.

But, do I regret not getting married today............ no........ I can't. A divorce would have been worse. And, if it was not perfect now, when would it have been? I have to think of it as a blessing in disguise. I did not want it, but it happened for a reason.

The cheesy God blessed the broken road song by Rascal Flatts keeps playing in my head. Maybe it is true..........